


Just Two Jerks Banging

by d2fmeasurement



Category: Silicon Valley (TV)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-04-03
Packaged: 2018-05-31 02:31:29
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6451990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/d2fmeasurement/pseuds/d2fmeasurement
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gilfoyle and Brian hook up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just Two Jerks Banging

Gilfoyle was out celebrating how terrible Nucleus’ livestream had been. Other people’s failure really made him horny so he’d decided to go to a gay bar.

He saw a group of out-of-his-league preppy douchebags and watched them waiting for one to separate from the herd. 

When a hot brunette guy went over to the bar, Gilfoyle went up to him and asked, “Hey, did you know this guy died of a cocaine overdose?”

Brian wrinkled his forehead. “What?”

Gilfoyle pointed towards a speaker and said, “The song that’s playing. Blind Melon. Yeah, the lead singer/songwriter died from coke. Almost makes you want to stop doing coke.” 

Brian stared at him. “Wait, someone who looks like you is hitting on someone who looks like me, and that’s the opening line you’re choosing to go with?” 

Gilfoyle smiled a little, glad this guy was mean. That was his comfort zone. “So, what are you guys celebrating? Successful panty raid at the frat house? One of the guys at Abercrombie & Fitch turned 30 and is retiring? Or are you just drinking to drown out the taste of peaking in high school?” 

Brian laughed a little. “And now you’re making fun of me. Okay. Insecure nerds are a dime and dozen around here, but an overly confident nerd? That’s at least interesting.” 

“Let me buy you a drink,” Gilfoyle said. 

“I’m considering it,” Brian said. “Are you one of those guys who’ll do anything in bed to compensate?” 

“I don’t have to compensate for anything,” Gilfoyle snapped. “But, it would be amazing sex. That’s a fact.” 

“I shockingly kind of believe that,” Brian said. “Get me a--”

“Bud Light. Yeah, I know. You’re a walking stereotype,” Gilfoyle said. 

After Gilfoyle got two beers for them, he said, “I’m Gilfoyle.”

“I’m sorry,” Brian said.

“I said I’m Gilfoyle,” he repeated.

“No, I heard you,” he said. “I meant I’m sorry your name is Gilfoyle.” 

Gilfoyle rolled his eyes. “And what’s your name? Trent? Chad? Blake?” 

“Brian,” he said. 

“Not as disgustingly WASP-y as I’d hoped,” Gilfoyle said.

“Not As Disgustingly WASP-y As I’d Hoped was the theme of my bar mitzvah,” Brian told him.

Gilfoyle looked at him with surprise and said, “Wow. That was moderately funny.” 

“Aww, you’re too sweet,” Brian replied sarcastically. “So, what do you do, Gilfoyle?” 

“I have shares in a start up,” Gilfoyle told him.

Brian laughed since he’d heard that a million times. “I meant what are you doing that actually pays money. Working at Best Buy? Or... McDonalds?” 

“I freelance here and there when I need to,” Gilfoyle said. “Mostly doing system architecture and security for porn sites. What about you?” 

“I work at Hooli,” Brian said proudly.

“You work at Hooli and you were scoffing at the idea of someone working at McDonalds?” Gilfoyle asked. “At least McDonalds has some basic understanding of efficiency.” 

“Hooli is one of the leading companies in the world,” Brian said.

“Yeah, they’re fucking great at marketing so pervasive consumers don’t realize there are other, better options, am I supposed to be impressed by that?” Gilfoyle asked. 

“They’re the best!” Brian said, with an edge to his voice that Gilfoyle immediately detected.

Gilfoyle smiled slowly. “Did you work on the livestream?” He saw Brian cringe. “You did. Aww. Buddy. It’s okay. At least you’re pretty.” He ran a hand down Brian’s face.

“Shut the fuck up,” Brian said.

“I’m serious. With that body you still have a shot at being a trophy wife to someone who is decent at building tech. That’d be a conciliation, right?” 

“Fuck you,” Brian said.

“I work at Pied Piper,” Gilfoyle told him.

Brian looked at him with surprise. After a moment, he regained his composure and said, “That lawsuit is going to destroy you.”

“Maybe so. I’ll still know that I built something good,” Gilfoyle told him. Gilfoyle gasped with surprise when he felt Brian’s hand firmly grab his ass. 

“How do I get you to shut up?” Brian asked.

Gilfoyle grinned.

 

 

 

“See, this is the kind of disgusting inefficiency I’m talking about,” Gilfoyle said as he walked into Brian’s house. “You’re clearly incompetent, but Hooli just pays out their ass for you to not do your job right.” 

“Hey, little bitch,” Brian said as he grabbed Gilfoyle’s nipple and pulled on it. “Remember that you’re lucky to be here.” 

“Did you seriously just pinch my nipple like we’re in grade school?” Gilfoyle asked, although he was enjoying being with someone who was as much of a douchebag as him. 

Brian smirked and said, “Come on.” He led him up to his bedroom and started undressing. 

“Fuck me,” Gilfoyle said, sounding both excited and angry by how nice Brian’s body actually was.

“If you’re lucky,” Brian said. He stretched out on the bed and told Gilfoyle, “I believe you said something about amazing sex? Go ahead and impress me.” 

Gilfoyle crawled onto the bed and started sucking Brian’s dick hard. 

“Oh fuck, you’re good at that,” Brian said happily.

Brian moaned and pulled on Gilfoyle’s hair. Gilfoyle excitedly bobbed his head and sucked as hard as he could. 

“Good boy. Shit. You’re really good at that, you little slut,” Brian said.

Gilfoyle flicked his tongue over Brian’s tip and kept bobbing his head. He let Brian’s cock hit his throat a few times. 

Brian groaned as he came. Gilfoyle swallowed it. He lifted his head and picked up Brian’s legs so that he could look down at his asshole. 

Brian gasped and writhed. “And what do you think you’re doing now?” 

“I’m thinking about how cute your asshole is and how I want to rim you harder than you’ve ever been rimmed in your life,” Gilfoyle told him.

Brian grinned and pushed Gilfoyle’s head down encouragingly. Gilfoyle started licking him hard. After a minute, he heard Brian moan and softly say, “Gilfoyle.” 

Gilfoyle lifted his head and teasingly said, “Someone wants to get fucked.” 

“I’m not much of a bottom,” Brian said with no real conviction since he was still incredibly horny.

“If that were true-- which it’s not,” Gilfoyle said. “That would be quite the waste.” He lifted Brian’s legs up more and patted his ass. 

“Mmm,” Brian said happily. 

“Like I said,” Gilfoyle said. He hit Brian’s ass harder with each word, “Someone. Wants. To. Get. Fucked.”

Brian reached up to grab a condom from his dresser and tossed it to Gilfoyle. “You better not disappoint me.”  
Gilfoyle quickly undressed and put the condom on. He started pushing into Brian. “Shit,” he said breathily. He ran his eyes over Brian, starting at his stomach and then reaching his face. 

“You realize we haven’t kissed yet?” Gilfoyle asked him as he fucked him. 

“Yeah, well, considering where your mouth’s been now, I’d say it’s too late,” Brian told him breathily. He threw his had back and moaned. “Shit. Harder.”

Gilfoyle pushed deep into Brian and moaned. He started fucking him harder. “You like that, bitch?” he asked. 

Brian pushed him onto his back so that he was on top, straddling him. Gilfoyle grunted, surprised by how much stronger than him Brian was. Brian rode his dick hard and grinned down at him, “Yeah. I like that. You make a great human dildo, babe.” 

Gilfoyle rocked his hips up and down along with Brian’s movements. “Is that supposed to be an insult? Because I’d be more offended if someone like you did like me.” 

Brian started riding him harder. Gilfoyle moaned as he came hard. Brian got off his dick and stretched out next to him, catching his breath. 

“You’re gonna get the fuck out of here now, right?” Brian asked him.

“As fast as I fucking can,” Gilfoyle assured him as he got up.


End file.
